How To Make Your House A Home
‘You are happening now. Right now. Right at this moment and your happening is beautiful… You don’t even know how breathtaking you are. As you are,' says the Universe.
There are not many certainties in life – of that I am certain.
But a thought that I have found myself returning to in every series of uncertain events throughout life is this...
Your body is the only home that you will live in forever.
You, I, we need to attempt to not lose sight of our internal well-being as a central pillar of what constitutes ‘home’, when it is sometimes so much easier to allow external influences and situations to take precedence in our thoughts.
So here I am, in a new place both physically and emotionally, and about to move into my new house with people I don’t know whilst trying to navigate the new structure of my life - and in all honesty it’s pretty terrifying and occasionally not all that fun.
But I remind myself; I am in the same place that I have always been – my home – the one that I have always lived in. I am learning to look at the roots of my life as something that exists internally, rather than as being attached to a particular residence. I can move forward because these roots are an ever-flowing energy that embraces the places I have been & the people I love, but also extend beyond this to the people I have not yet met & to the places so far unvisited.
Invest endless energy into making your true house a home, and ease into the comfort of your well-furnished life.
Your house is built on breath.
Slowly, quickly, evenly, oddly, or heck, why not take a big sigh? Take another 10 big sighs for that matter. It feels good right? Breathe every last bit of it out. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for sighing, because they just haven’t yet realised how great it feels to breathe so deeply when you are feeling overwhelmed. That breath just feels so darn good. And the greatest thing about it? It is completely free (as are all of the best things in life) and you will instantly feel more connected to your home – I promise.
I highly recommend doing this every morning as a little internal Mexican wave greeting to yourself.
2. Exercise / Walk / Jump Around / Dance / Move
If sighing isn’t happening so easily today, then make that breathe radiate from every part of your being. Get outside, feel the fresh air on your skin and run. Go to a yoga class and stretch out all of those amazing muscles that furnish your home. Stick on your favourite tune and dance around like no one is watching (because to be honest... they probably aren’t).
During my recent trip to Bali, I was having a bit of a down day... Why?
Because I was alone and felt incredibly lonely, because I was feeling a bit ill, because I felt far away from ‘home’ despite knowing that I don’t have any particular location that I can call home right now. But oh wait, I remembered to myself, yes I do.
So I stuck this beauty on repeat, danced around my room for 15 minutes and smiled because I knew that I had everything I needed right there with me in that moment.
3. Water your garden and watch the flowers grow
We need to drink a lot of water to feel good – it took about 24 years of dehydration for me to realise this.
This is extremely high on my list of recommendations for just about anything. Who knew that hydration could be such a simple solution to so many problems? I can guarantee that if you are feeling a little off and disconnected, topping up your water levels will quickly allow you to start blooming.
Watch them flowers grow.
4. Connect and love with all your heart
View your family (both genetic and acquired) as an extension that you are building onto your home. It takes time to build, but once it is there, it is hard to remember how you ever lived without it.
Build that extension on solid foundations, and spend as much time with that extension as possible. These bricks of diversity and support are there to always welcome you home.
We need each other. Love, love, and love some more.
5. Gratitude is the attitude
Gratitude makes a house a home.
Sink back for a moment and extend some appreciation and gratitude to the abundance of your life.
You are so wonderful, exactly as you are in this very moment.
Embrace that, celebrate that, look around you and smile.
We don’t need bigger houses, in fancier (more expensive) locations, with better shops, and more stuff. Whilst those things may temporarily cushion our perception of existence and create a deceiving sense of achievement or ‘homeliness’, I can guarantee that sooner or later you will feel like something is missing if this remains are your soul focus. You may not be able to pin point at first what that thing is, but no doubt we will often sway to the tendency to fill this gap with more stuff to avoid taking a true look at ourselves straight in the eye.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I sometimes get an overwhelming sense of nausea and disconnection when I’m surrounded by too much stuff.
Declutter, streamline and switch off from technology whenever possible.
You can read more about my thoughts on The Simple Things here.
7. Home & Surroundings – a changing view
This is a topic that I have previously touched upon in my blog post about The Simple Things.
I have found recently however, due to changing circumstances, that this is a developing thought from which emerged the inspiration for this current blog post of what constitutes 'home.'
It is important to step out of your door each morning and extend gratitude for where you live and your surroundings. I also believe there to be truth in the classic saying, “If you don’t like where you are, move. You are not a tree.”
However, don’t allow your location to entirely define your being. I have found leaving Cornwall as my permanent residence one of the hardest processes of the last few months and it has taken time to come to terms with the fact that I can still exist and be exactly who I am without this ‘home’.
Your true home is where the heart is, and this is furnished not by a place, but rather by the actions that we consciously make and the energy we choose to radiate.
8. Honesty – with yourself and others
Allow yourself to feel every feeling you need to feel, and stop lying to your extension about being okay. It’s okay to not be okay. Stop feeling so darn guilty about not being okay and reach out – I promise that people will respond with more encouragement and connection than you can imagine.
My honest feeling for 2017 is that I feel like I’ve had my heart torn in too many ways than it should ever be torn at once. Imagine demolishing your home to the point that it resembles an unrecognisable pile of rubble, so that it cannot be pieced together again, only to be told that you must attempt to do so.
I am sifting through the remains, trying my hardest to replicate the perfection of the original house, only to find that the task is impossible. I know that I cannot reproduce the perfection that once existed, but through this process I am slowly learning that it was never perfect in the first place. And to my shock, from the debris, a new significant shelter is beginning to emerge – a home that has a lot of cracks, but from which the most beautiful flowers are slowly opening as if to whisper that everything is happening exactly as it should.