Arrive at your own door
“The time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here.”
The lights are starting to sparkle, the temperature is starting to drop and I’m starting to feel all warm and fuzzy inside - the sure signs that another year’s end is upon us. I don’t know about you, but I can’t help but get all pensive at this point of the year. There’s no denying that end of chapter feeling that occurs on an annual basis, whether you feel a bit indifferent towards it or are welcoming the fresh start with wide open arms. Myself? I feel a little bit excited.
I feel like 2018 has flown by in a flurry of yoga poses and house moves (sixth and seventh house moves in three years.. please no more!!) But, I look around myself in this very moment and I can’t help but smile. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m greeting myself at my own door. And that doesn’t mean to say that I’ve found the answer to self judgement or that it has disappeared entirely, but rather that, as a whole, as a bigger picture, life is certainly full of sweetness right now - and for the whole of 2018 for that matter.
It’s been a year of shifts and transformation. Time has been spent with my nearest and dearest, working damn hard for my yoga teacher qualification, learning more about balancing these spinning plates that I like to place on each finger (this is a work in progress, always) and making decisions based on what I really want.
Half way through the year I unexpectedly switched jobs, going from doing something I thought I would love as a full time job (writing) to working for a company that I have respected for years where I get to talk to people all day long about something that I love (coffee). That was a bit of a plot twist really, considering I felt like I was in my dream job at this point last year. But that’s the thing though, isn’t it? Dreams change. I no longer wanted to simply be sat tapping away each day at a keyboard and found myself craving connection.
So what else? I moved in with some of my best friends, into a house called Windsor Palace I kid you not. And a palace it was. A palace of cherished memories where I learnt that there really is something so, so, SO incredibly special about girl power when it’s at its best.
And then, six months later, I moved once more (this is really it, I promise!) to live with my other best friend who happens to also be my boyfriend. We’ve both got our own stories, but this was a pretty big decision for each of us. However, with our hands held together we took the leap and here we are, two months later in our freezing cold cottage but happy as hell. That happiness might be due to an electric blanket, but I’ll let you know on the other side of winter. And in a last minute before the end of the year is up kind of decision, we only went and bought a cat!
So here we are. We’ve arrived at the end of 2018 with a new qualification, a new home, a new furry friend and I can’t help but sit back and smile at myself - life really is a wild journey. For someone who likes to live life in the slow lane, I’m coming to learn that even in the slowest of lanes, life seems to move pretty quickly. Blink and it could pass you by.
So what are you waiting for? Greet yourself at your own door. Sit awhile and welcome yourself. And in the wise words of Cheryl Strayed, “The fuck is your life. Answer it.”