Dream your biggest dream
It’s funny how certain dates and days sit within our souls. Sometimes, you are completely unaware that they are on the horizon, whilst at other times, they slowly tap away at the back of your mind like a whole different heartbeat. Today is one of those days. Whilst I’m renowned for being an early riser, always the one to choose a 6AM wake up over a 2AM bedtime, I found my eyes peeling open so early this morning that even I thought that I was taking the early-morning thing a bit too far.
But today isn’t any old day. The last couple of weeks have been underpinned by a mounting awareness that a year has passed since I packed up my life and left Cornwall, seemingly for good. I turned my back on my life and everything that I had known for the past 3 and a half years - my friends, my home, my memories, my Cornwall.
What feels like not-so-long-ago, I wrote, “The truth is that my 2016 ended with redundancy and the separation of a 6-year relationship, thus causing me to leave Cornwall and suddenly be without a permanent address. It’s a lot to absorb all in one go, right?”
Honestly? I was absolutely terrified. It took a long time to admit that, although I get the feeling that everyone else knew and I was just playing the waiting game in admitting it to myself. Between you and me, I’m not even sure I fully cried about the whole situation until I got hella-red-wine-drunk in March and sobbed it all out to one of my best friends, who acted with such patience and love that I think she had been anticipating that exact moment.
This morning however, I opened my eyes to an entirely different feeling.
Firstly, I woke up in my bed in Cornwall - something I certainly wouldn’t have predicted happening this time last year. My departure from Cornwall felt like an entirely separate break up to my actual break up, and when I got the phone call with an offer of a 3 month freelance contract as a content writer, I packed up my life once again and headed back down to the coast of dreams in August. Speak to the Universe, and she will answer. Whilst I hadn’t anticipated upheaving my life twice in one year, I knew in my heart that it was a once in a lifetime risk. The big risk. The one that if I didn’t take it, I’d always be asking, What If?
So what happened with the contract? Well, it got extended by another few months to begin with, so that was a relief. And then, just this week, I was offered a permanent position as Content Writer for a company I love. The curious thing about the whole situation is that I set out this year with the pure intention to make no effort. It sounds like a bit of a cop out, I know. But I was completely, entirely, and overwhelmingly knackered. There isn’t really any other way to say it. I just wanted to slip into the day to day beat of life and not be looked at or spoken to, except by the select few who were taking me under their wing. How I have ended up landing my dream job, I’ll never, ever know. Kudos to you, Universe.
The other feeling that I can’t shake off this morning is that my heart is hurting in the absolutely best way. I said goodbye to my love yesterday evening whilst he jets off for Christmas, and I already miss him. Yes, I’m being that person - just this once. Unexpected but entirely requited love. Love, love, love. It feels good to say.
I'm awake early this morning with the busiest of brains, getting ready to leave Cornwall, but this time knowing that I’ll be back in just a week, to my home, my friends, my love, and my life.
My point? Anything can happen.
Dream your biggest dreams and live your fullest life, because who knows what 2018 has in store.
Thoughts to hold close in 2018
1. "Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable."
2. "Let it go. Let it leave. Let it happen."
3. "That which is false troubles the heart, but truth brings joyous tranquility."
4. "It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly, than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection."
The Bhagavad Gita
5. "When you set out to do something good, the energy of the universe aligns to assist you."
6. "The fuck is your life. Answer it."